Progress Over Perfection: How to Build Habits That Stick
- julieannecaterini
- Apr 28
- 5 min read
It’s exciting to set a big goal. You envision the finish line, you crossing it, celebrating, finally achieving that thing you’ve been dreaming about. At first, everything feels doable. The momentum is real. But then the reality of daily life kicks in. Progress feels slow. Results aren’t immediate. Motivation slips away.
You start wondering:
“Why do I always fall off track?”
“Maybe I’m just not disciplined enough.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
Here’s the truth: There’s nothing wrong with you. The real issue? It’s not willpower…it’s outcome fixation. When we only measure success by the final result, we overlook the daily habits and systems that actually create meaningful change. And when we don’t see immediate payoffs, it’s easy to fall into common mental traps:
All-or-Nothing Thinking: “If I can’t do it perfectly, why bother?”
Delayed Gratification Fatigue: “This is taking too long...”
Disconnection from the Process: “I just want to be there already.”
The Shift: Focus on the process instead of the outcome.
In her book Get It Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation, motivation expert Dr. Ayelet Fishbach shows that when we focus on small, daily actions instead of obsessing over the end goal, we’re more likely to stay engaged and actually enjoy the journey. Progress, not perfection, is what matters most.
Example:
🚫 Instead of: “I have to run a 10K by next month.”
✅ Try: “I’ll run for 5 minutes today and see how I feel.”
🚫 Instead of: “I have to be fluent in Spanish.”
✅ Try: “I’ll learn 10 new words today.”
Tiny wins stack up. Small steps build momentum. And over time, the outcome takes care of itself.
The Science of Habits: How Change Becomes Effortless
If motivation is unpredictable, how do we create consistency? We build systems.
According to Charles Duhigg’s research in his book The Power of Habit, every habit follows a simple loop:
Cue: A trigger that initiates the behavior.
Routine: The action itself.
Reward: The payoff that reinforces it.
Example of a Common Habit Loop:
Cue: Feeling bored or restless.
Routine: Picking up your phone to scroll.
Reward: Quick entertainment and distraction.
Over time, your brain hardwires this loop until it runs on autopilot.
But here’s the good news: you can use the same pattern to build habits that support the life you truly want.
New Habit Reframe:
Cue: Feeling bored or restless.
Routine: Take a 5-minute walk outside or stretch by your desk.
Reward: A real boost of energy and mood—without the mental fog that endless scrolling brings.
Habits aren’t built on massive action, they’re built on small, satisfying, repeatable loops. Design the system, and progress becomes inevitable.
Build your Habit System here with this free Habit Loop Exercise
Challenge:
What’s one habit you want to build?
What cue, routine, and reward could you set up today to support it?
But there’s another important piece to sustaining change: the challenge level.
Because even the best-designed habits can stall if they feel too overwhelming... or too easy.
This is where understanding The Goldilocks Rule comes
Psychologists call it The Goldilocks Rule: We’re most motivated when a task feels just challenging enough, not too hard, not too easy, but right in that “sweet spot” where progress feels exciting.
If a goal feels too overwhelming, you're more likely to quit before you gain momentum.
If a goal feels too easy, you'll lose interest and stop showing up.
But if a goal feels just challenging enough, you stay engaged and keep growing.
🚫 Example:
"I have to run a 10K next month." → Too overwhelming.
"I'll do one push-up a day." → Too easy.
✅ "I'll jog for five minutes today and see how I feel." → Just right.
Small steps that stretch you without breaking you, that’s the zone where real progress lives.
But even when our habits are aligned and our systems are strong, there’s one trap that can still derail us: burnout.
Burnout usually follows a predictable pattern:
The Motivation Surge – You go all in, expecting rapid results.
Reality Hits – You miss a day or two and start feeling discouraged.
All-or-Nothing Thinking – You believe you've failed, so you stop altogether.
Avoidance and Burnout – You disconnect from your goal, feeling exhausted and defeated.
The problem isn’t you. The problem is the system.
We set ourselves up for burnout when:
❌ We expect too much, too fast.
❌ We don’t build in recovery and flexibility.
❌ We don’t adjust when life inevitably gets busy.
The Solution: Shrink the Change & Build in Recovery
Most people believe they need to push harder when things get tough.
But what if the key to lasting success isn’t doing more, but doing less, better?
Here are three evidence-based strategies to help you stay consistent without burning out:
The 85% Rule: You Don’t Need to Be at 100%
Studies show we perform at our best when operating at about 85% effort—not 100%.
Olympic coaches have found that slightly less intensity actually leads to better long-term performance.
Consistency beats intensity, always.
Key takeaway: Aim for sustainable effort, not perfection.
Real Life Reframe:
🚫 “I have to work out every single day.”
✅ “I’ll exercise four days a week, and take two active recovery days.”
It’s about working smarter, not harder.
The "Two-Tier Goal" System
Set two versions of your goal:
Baseline Goal: A minimal, can’t-fail action for low-energy days.
➔ Example: “I’ll write just one sentence.”
Stretch Goal: A bigger version for high-energy days.
➔ Example: “I’ll write for 30 minutes.”
This keeps you consistent without the pressure of all-or-nothing thinking.
Some days you’ll hit your baseline. Some days you’ll soar past it. Both are wins.
The Strategic Pause: Rest as a Success Strategy
Rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a crucial part of long-term growth. Our brains follow natural cycles of focus and fatigue (called Ultradian Rhythms), which means we work best when we:
Focus for 90 minutes,
Then take a 10–15 minute break to reset.
And on a bigger scale: Schedule intentional rest days weekly.
Reframe Rest:
🚫 “I have to earn my break.”
✅ “Rest strengthens my progress and my resilience.”
Rest isn’t weakness. It’s strategy.
Final Reflection: Your Growth is Already Unfolding
Before you close this post, take a moment to check in:
Am I focusing on the process, or getting stuck on the outcome?
How can I adjust my environment to make my next step easier?
What is one small action I can take today to build momentum?
How can I honour rest as part of my growth, not a reward after it?
Take a moment to listen to this 4 minute guided visualization: Rooted into Small, Sustainable Growth
Because true growth isn’t about grinding harder. It’s about setting yourself up to succeed, with compassion, clarity, and steady intention.
Keep showing up.
Keep trusting the process.
And above all, keep being kind to yourself along the way. 💙
Want to dive even deeper into this topic?
This blog post is just the beginning! If you’re craving a more in-depth exploration including real-life examples, extra tips, and a little encouragement to help you stay the course, then tune into the full podcast episode that inspired this post.
🎙 Listen to [Podcast Episode #3: Beyond Willpower: Building Habits That Actually Stick]
Until next time,
Stay grounded in your growth. Stay kind to your journey. Stay connected to your truth.
With heart,
Julie
The Integrative Counsellor
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